Haha!

It seems that I don't have to sift through all that crazy code after all. The answer has been right under my nose all along.

I had grown tired of beating my head against it with no progress to speak of - Mondays are not a good day for such things - and resorted to desperate searching on Google. And somehow, I managed to stumble upon a simple solution.

On the one hand, this is good news, because that was going to be several weeks of very difficult work. On the other hand, I'd feel a lot less stupid had I realized this a week ago. A few more Google searches is all it would have taken.

I swear, I think Google has a greater impact on my life than almost anything else in the world.