On my way to my boss's secretary's office today, I saw a hapless Japanese woman trying one of those Segways.

I think "hapless" is pretty much the watchword for those things. If you ever want to appear hapless, but aren't sure exactly how to go about it, try keeping your balance on a Segway.

There was a Japanese engineer-looking guy talking her through it as I passed. In response to a question he asked, he answered, "Hai." ("Yes.")

I instinctively responded, "Hello."

"Hello!" he replied in a friendly but confused manner.

You know you're ready for a vacation when you find yourself recreating jokes from Big Bird Goes to Japan.