My teetotaller roommate decided not to come with us to the party last night. Good, I say. We don't have to listen to him be self-righteous about how he didn't drink and he was the only one there who wasn't drunk and oh he had such a miserable time. God. At least my other self-righteous friends keep it to themselves.

I wasn't drunk either - Jésus left early, for one thing, and for another, I really just didn't feel like drinking much. The taste of alcohol was bothering me, for some reason. And it just didn't seem as fun without Jenn there.

I just read that over and it makes me sound like a total lush. Let the record show that I get drunk only rarely, and I drink primarily for the taste.

Anyway, Lisa left the party early (with someone to escort her) and Susan, her roommate, stayed later than I could (with someone to escort her. I am a gentleman.)

I'm welcomed home by a piece of paper affixed to the door with masking type, entitled "GUS - PLEASE DO NOT TRIP OVER US!" Below this is a map of our apartment, with a bed-sized highlighted rectangle in the middle of the living room labeled "WE ARE HERE!" and a path from the door to my bed drawn with highlighter. The masking tape itself says "THANK YOU FOR BEING A CONSIDERATE ROOMMATE! -ADAM+LISA" (I don't think Adam knows how to write lowercase letters.)

Oh how cute, I think. They put some blankets on the ground in the living room and they're spending the night there.

Heh. I've been living with these people for how long? Why do you continue to underestimate them, Gus?

They had moved the mattress off Adam's bed and into the living room.

This is fine. Whatever. It's easy not to trip over them, and I get the bedroom to myself.

Adam's explanation this morning: "It just seemed like the best way to go about it, since Lisa didn't want to sleep alone, and we hadn't said anything to you."

I point out that having a girl in my bedroom obviously doesn't bother me, since it happened plenty of times last year.

A discussion ensues. The punchline: "I can think of very few times last year when Lisa and you were both in the bedroom and we hadn't told you ahead of time."

Oh really? What about the four straight weeks where she slept over every night? Sure, I was at Jenn's on the weekends, but that was about it. The way Adam made it sound you'd think Jenn had put my name on her mailbox, or something. But there's no point in arguing this with Adam, as he's just going to get indignant about how he's being considerate and blah blah blah. And honestly, it's not an argument worth having, because I don't mind that much if Lisa stays over.

So in lieu of finishing the argument, I head up to Lisa's to check my mail, since I can't get to my desk until he moves his mattress back. Lisa says, "You want some breakfast? I'm making French toast and peach cobbler. It'll be ready in 15 minutes."

Aw, hell. I can't be mad at these people.