Well, the spare made it to Sears just fine, except Sears didn't have my tire in stock. Fortunately, they pointed me to the NTB down the street, which did, and which was part of their "warranty network".

So I was able to get the tire replaced (I thought repaired was the goal, but apparently they couldn't do that) for about $10.

Good, right?

Well, not really. They pointed out to me that my rim was dented, which I knew. They said that as a result, the tire wouldn't be able to hold air, they'd have to put sealant on it to hold it, and if I hit a pothole the wrong way, it'll blow the fuck out. That's a far cry from "You might feel a slight wobble," which is what the guy in New York told me.

I also found out that mechanics have a special hand symbol for "This guy's gotta sign something before I let him drive out of here on that."

I called my dealership's service department, and sure, they can order a rim for me and have it in by Monday, and put it on for me. That'll be $275 with tax.

This is me having a bad day.